I don’t know from where to start.. But I think it’s about time I share with you all, how I suffered bullying for three long years in school.
I had a pretty great childhood. In my very first school, I had some amazing friends. I can never forget that part of my life. And then I changed my school. The first year went very well. I made good friends. The next three years in that school were nothing less than living in a jail where I was choked constantly, but not allowed to die. It was like slow death.
I wanna make one thing clear. I’m not pretty like, well, Rachel McAdams. Tall like Angelina Jolie. Fair (white) like Anne Hathaway. And you know what, I ain’t got no problem with it!
By God’s grace I had very supportive friends at school.
But the comments were vicious. I dunno how could some people, 12-13 years old, ever say those mean things to someone? I mean I was the same age as they were. But I wouldn’t have said all that stuff to them, EVER!! My strong attribute at that time was my zeal for studies, which helped me score well. But nobody saw it. All they saw was the way I looked, not a pretty sight, definitely. My reaction would invite more ruthless comments. These people made sure that every single minute I spent in school was devoid of happiness, every single minute I was supposed to realize my true worth, which according to them was that of an ugly duckling..
I was really good in academics. So, it was never a problem. But my peace of mind was snatched from me for those three seemingly unceasing years. I would hope that the next day would be better, but it never happened. Each passing day was unleashing a more horrifying real world; a world that is atrocious and unforgiving (even if I’d done nothing wrong)!
The one person who supported me throughout that dark phase of my life was my sister. She even came to my school to teach a lesson to some of my classmates. She would advise me to go for the policy of ‘tit for tat’. But it didn’t work. Because I could never pass on such hurting comments to anybody. I wasn’t completely at my best during that time. I took to abusing. But it also ceased after some time, because I realized that those abusive words were doing more harm to me than those people.
And yes, I did try to commit suicide. But it was projected in such a bad way by the principal and the vice-principal of the school, that I looked like the culprit, instead.
I wanted to be enclosed in a box with the hideous face and body of mine. I had lost all self-worth, all self-respect…
After that, I changed my school. 11th and 12th standard were again, the most cherished two years of my life.
But you know what, the scars of those three years are still there. They’ve done enough damage. I do not regret the fact that I didn’t try to look pretty at that time. What I regret is that I didn’t have the strength to endure it all.
Maybe those people still have the same perception of beauty of a person. Maybe when they see a thin, short, dark-skinned girl; they laugh at her. Maybe they even try to bully her. But what is the point?
I do not wanna be judgmental. But, if you judge the character of a person by the looks, then you expect Bashar al-Assad to be a nice guy (Well, he’s tall and white!). You would even like Adolf Hitler because he also had good looks.
And I’m sure you would hate President Obama in spite of the fact that he wrapped up the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, lifted sanctions on Iran, took the U.S. out of an economic crunch and also, ended the animosity with Cuba!
Seriously, if those people would make fun of me now, I would never mind. Instead, I would think of them as ignorant souls who are too engrossed in the outer beauty of the world that they miss the real purpose of life.
I find happiness not in the compliments I get on my looks. I find happiness when people say- ‘You’re a great writer’, ‘Your post made me happy’, ‘I wish we all had a thinking like you’, ‘Your post made me cry’ and numerous other ‘real compliments’ that I get daily by the lovely souls from all over the world!
The real purpose of this post was to make people realize how a bullied person feels. And to make sure that the ones who read it, will refrain from it in future.