This is a ramble. Today I got THE mail of my joining in Bangalore. Moving to the great city on 26th of November. Final. But I’m having second thoughts. First, I’m really scared. I entered my room today and I saw my cupboards which contain my life. I saw my laptop opened, resting on my bed. I saw a heap of pillows. I saw a frame, in it my childhood picture. I saw my dressing area where I keep all my skincare and makeup stuff. And it made me happy and sad. How am I gonna leave all this and move to a completely unknown place for one year??!! Travelling is a different thing altogether because one comes home in the end. But this is actual moving! Like, this is happening for real. I’m gonna leave my room, my home, my city and move to a different place. And I don’t even know when will I come back and just lay on my bed and watch a movie or two or just watch some random videos on YouTube. Today it really sunk into me. That mail really shook me. So much that instead of my shampoo I poured conditioner all over my hair!
And one thing I’m really confused about is that should I spend more time with my family or less (to cut myself off from them)? I don’t wanna get too habitual of them because in the end it will effect me only. This year I’ve been spending a lot of my time with my grandparents. So much that I sometimes go to their place to sleep. Today when I went there, I was literally questioning my decision. I love them so much that if I don’t spend the evening with them, I get really sad. I will miss these evenings.
God!! Mum says not to move. Because she will get lonely when I’m gone. I can see it on my dad’s face too. But it was my decision and I gotta stick to it.