Life is what you make it. And we make it step by step, day by day.
Today was also a stepping stone towards something great. Yes, I’m a believer. I like to believe that something great is waiting for me. And if I don’t work for it today, I might miss on the opportunity.
My banker life is sort of an assignment. It is not what work I do. It is how I do it. And I choose to do it with integrity. Work is worship. That is going on in my mind right now. I’m serving the public. It is their money that we have deposited in our bank. And they have an absolute right to ask a hell lot questions. There shouldn’t be any chance for me to feel irritated. Instead, I should be more convincing.
And the battle to be convincing is eternal.
And then, there is team work. It is not what I expect it to be. Some of my co-workers inspire me, while some teach me valuable lessons.
But there is this voice that keeps telling me that I am an employee of the bank and I have the power to bring the CHANGE that I want!
But a burning heart.
Life is yearning,
For a restart.
And I hear.
Oh! How I wish,
To burst in tears.
It ain’t a debacle,
That’s for sure.
Then why do I feel,
My spirit’s tore
Had my eureka moment,
Embraced it warmly.
Sitting in a cubicle,
Doing my bit,
But the door is nowhere.
That will fulfill,
My longstanding prayer.
I will brush my feathers.
Reach for heavens,
And live in a mellow weather.
I met a boy,
Distressed beyond words,
His appearance was shabby.
It was my curiosity,
That led me to him.
“Why are you crying?
O! Little child?”
At first he was a bit startled.
Looked at me straight in the eyes.
Then a weak voice came out,
“Nothing… It’s nothing.”
Now that I observed him,
I couldn’t let him cry,
So, I gained a bit of courage,
To ask this weeping, innocent child,
The cause of his distress.
He was less wary of me.
Somehow, we both connected.
A feeble voice struggled to say,
“Baba is beating maa..”
And there I was,
My hand on his shoulders,
I was speechless.
I was grappling with words.
What do I say?
How do I console?
How do I tell this little soul,
What his father is doing,
Is awry, beyond words..?
This guy lives a mile away,
From my neighborhood.
Fell in love,
With a damsel,
A heart that loved all.
People all around,
Love before marriage?
O! They were all embarrassed!!
Alas! Their love story,
Just like many,
We witness daily.
My friend had a dream,
To paint this world red,
The color of love.
She held her brush,
Dipped it in crimson pigment.
As soon as she took the brush out,
Her father held her hand,
Threw the brush away,
And placed a book there, instead.
She now lives a life,
Disputes, her existence.
What was so wrong with the brush,
There’s a girl I see,
On the traffic signal, everyday.
Greets me with a huge smile,
And extends me a flower each time.
Wears a torn frock,
Hair gone blonde in the sun,
Skin, dry and broken…
I buy a rose from her,
For ten bucks,
I have bought a piece of bread for her.
And then we part ways,
Only to meet the next day.
I see, and I remain quiet.
I choose to remain quiet.
Because I have the FREEDOM.
Yes. The FREEDOM.
Well, I should remain in silence.
Forced to be apart.
Sounds too amusing,
For a gossip to kickstart!
Dreams of youth,
Kept under wraps.
This word ‘freedom’ that they taught us,
Well, it was just a trap!
Children asking for money,
On the streets.
O! Poor thing.
I may as well give.
Eh! How can I give it a miss?
Freedom has come down to,
Being a relative word.
It is a right.
It doesn’t come,
Even after a fair fight.
Only those celebrate it,
Who overlook its true meaning.
For the real thing is,
Freedom has never been ours…
P.S.- Be it Bhagat Singh, Chandrashekhar Azad or Jawaharlal Nehru; we Indians have always loved our country. Since past 70 years, we are celebrating what has gone by and keeping our eyes shut to what is happening. Winning our country back from the Britishers was not freedom. Doing anything that doesn’t harm anybody is freedom. And I’m sorry to say, that freedom has not arrived yet. So, why not work towards it? Why not work to make our beloved country an ideal country? Let’s leave all the apprehensions behind. Let’s unite in uniting this country towards the cause of love; love that has shaken the very being of the strongest of hatred prevailing in this world. For, we live only once and let’s unite to make this one life worth living 🙂
Happy independence day, my fellow Indians 🙂
So, in general, every mother is great. We can’t compare. But obviously, I have a little bias towards my mother because of the fact she gives me the best advice!
Why this sudden show of affection towards her? Well, last night I was a little agitated because someone said something very rude to me. I was complaining to her. But she said, “I’m gonna WhatsApp you a video. You are always complaining to me about others, worrying they criticized you, blasted at you etc. Do watch it.” And after that, she hung up the call.
And within no time, my phone beeped. It was that video. When I started listening to it, a whole lot of emotions started filling up my heart. I wanted to hug my mother. She never talks of revenge or lashing out at others, who did wrong to me. She always advise me to forget it. To concentrate on MYSELF.
It was a video of some motivational speaker who talked about how we are being a hurdle in our pathway to success. How? By getting bothered about people who talked ill about us, by making that bad experience or memory rule our mind. He talked about how a rocket goes up in the air by leaving parts of it behind, which gives it the thrust to fly high. In the same way, we all need to do away with all the negativity in our lives. Just let it go. There’s no good in thinking over it again and again. Make yourself free of all the chains of negative energies in your life.
Recently, I took the step of eliminating some negative energies that ruled my mind. And believe me, my life has been a lot better. It was possible only because of my mother. She tells me that there’s no good in surrounding yourself with negative people. She never talked ill of those people. Even I don’t bother about them. Some people are like that way. If they are doing something you would expect them do with someone else, don’t be shocked when they do that to you, too 🙂
CONCENTRATE on yourself! She tells me to work hard on myself and leave how others behave or talk or dress or whatever. For her, I am the topmost priority. When I’m all enraged, she listens to me patiently, never utters a single negative word, then calms me with her best advice.
I will be a mess forever. And she will work to declutter that mess, FOREVER 🙂
They say, when it’s meant to be. I haven’t felt so connected to God in a long time. Life is mysterious, mischievous sometimes. How this universe conspires to make us do, or take us to somewhere, is just unbelievable sometimes!
Sounds vague, eh? Well, lemme narrate a small incident to make it more clear.
Past one week was literally a torture. Mishaps, and not just teeny-tiny ones, but big ones were making my heart cringe. Last Sunday, I was all alone in my room. I had this thought, this feeling that I should go to a temple. Any temple for that matter. But I had this strong urge to go to a temple. Maybe my migraine was troubling me or I dunno what. Temple seemed to be the only resort. So yeah, temple. But I didn’t have anybody to accompany me.
The very next day, something bad happened. This though struck my mind that ‘I should have visited temple yesterday’. And because of that ‘bad thing’, the whole week was disastrous. And all I could think was, TEMPLE!!
There’s this small temple nearby the Begur lake. My friends and I made a plan to visit it on Sunday. Now again, a lot of planning and re-planning took place and finally I along with one of my friends took a cab to the famous Iskon temple. The moment we sat in the cab, the driver told us that by the time we’ll reach there, it will be closed. Iskon temple was supposed to open at 4 p.m. So we told him to take us to some other famous temple.
As it was supposed to be, I set foot inside the same temple where my parents and I went in December. And I was emotional as hell!! Like, it was an overflow of emotions! The happenings of past week and that same temple, it was all so overwhelming. But the Iskon temple was stuck in our mind. Totally stuck!
After paying obeisance at the Dodda Ganapathi and Bull temple, we went to have some lunch. I felt this uneasiness and some sort of sickness there. I was so bloody tired that we decided to take a cab back to our hostel. Though, I prayed at the Bull temple, but that feeling was not parting with me. I was longing for peace. But, no..
The moment we sat in the cab, I was a bit, or should I say ‘a lot’ disappointed for not going to the Iskon temple. And then, this mysterious force of nature worked it’s charm and boom! A traffic policeman stopped our cab. The cabbie was using his phone while driving so there was some sort of problem. At this very moment, my friend said in an impulse, “We should’ve visited Iskon..”. And again, that sinking feeling..
As if it wasn’t enough, some two-three minutes later, the cabbie said that he’ll drop us at MG Road because his friend met with an accident and he had to rush to the hospital immediately. It was a strong signal, well, to me at least, that I’ve GOT TO BE AT ISKON ASAP!!!
So, from MG Road we took a cab straight to the Iskon.
I visited Iskon last year when my parents came to Bangalore. But it was in a hurry. Yesterday, we took a special pass and I think it was one of the best decisions of yesterday! I attended the aarti and was standing there praying for at least ten-fifteen minutes. The pain in my legs, the sweat, the severe headache; all went away in a split second. I was peaceful, after a long time. My head got cleared of all the negativity. The apprehensions doing the rounds in my brain vanished. Seemed like I found true bliss. I forgot all about the mishaps. We got prasad and two books from there. And then headed straight to the hostel in the evening.
All I had to tell to my parents and my friends was that WE WERE MEANT TO GO TO THE ISKON TEMPLE! I have never been, what they say, a superstitious woman. But then, I believe in the law of attraction. I believe in the power of this universe and yesterday’s events proved them all.
Keep that belief, that faith in yourself. A place where all I could hear was chanting, a place where all I could feel was hope; what more could I expect from it? Peace, obviously! The outer peace of Iskon temple sucked away the commotion in my heart and instilled inner peace!
Miracle, co-incidence or whatever. You decide 🙂
Thinking about what should I write tonight, I don’t wanna crib about my sad love story which ended abruptly. I can save the emotionally wrecked part of me for some other time. Today, I wanna talk about the funny earthquake experience I had this week.
Well, with all due respect, I feel for the ones who died in this tragedy. My heart goes out to the people of Afghanistan and Pakistan ❤
See, I’m a very weak person, physically. Last year, when I collapsed in my washroom, I developed this low blood pressure problem. So, my BP is always around 75/35, I mean, most of the time.
I had to go for this medical formality for my job in Bangalore. It was in Jalandhar and I was really worried about this low BP problem. What if the doctor gives me an ‘unfit for the job’ certificate? It was beating the shit out of me!!
So, there I was, sitting in the hospital lobby, waiting for my turn, just when I had this giddy feeling. I was like no!! This can’t be it!! I can’t lose my job just because of this BP!!! I was literally terrified!! You don’t know what I was going through!!!
Guys, it was not the first time I had suffered vertigo in a public place. Once I was with my brother at a supermarket when I thought the place was oscillating! I was intelligent enough to first ask my brother and he assured me everything was fine. The other time I suffered it was when I was in a mall with my best friend. Again, I thought, “Dude, I think it is an earthquake!”. Again, I first asked my friend. But no, it was vertigo, as always.
But this time, when it didn’t stop, I thought that it has to be earthquake. But everybody around me was calm as eff!! My dad was sitting with the parents of other candidates. I was alone, surrounded by strangers and thinking it is the end of my Bangalore dream! I held on to the chair as tight as I could! I thought, ” Dude! I’m gonna collapse!! This time maybe the BP has gone way down and I’ll collapse!”. And at that very moment I heard my father shout, ” EARTHQUAKE!!
” and I dunno why, I was relieved!
We all vacated the reception area of the hospital and I hugged my dad tight because a nightmare of about 20-30 seconds ended with a good news. IT WAS JUST A MERE EARTHQUAKE 😊