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The Good Life

There is a certain way to articulate your life.

The other day I got an extremely disturbing phone call from someone I care about deeply. And it shook me to see that person in extreme pain. But, if that phone call would’ve come, say, two months ago, I would’ve been of no help. Except for being a listener, which is also rare!

But, instead, to my surprise, I was this focused counsellor who gave that weeping person a sense of strength! And nothing makes me happier than making people smile. Listening to them. And in the end, making them relieve of the pain that is causing a sort of mental trauma.

Because I’ve been there. I have spent days locked into my room and weeping and questioning my life and the very reason of my existence. And it’s nothing new. I’ve talked of my various stages of depression and self-questioning several times on this platform. And I don’t think anybody should be ashamed of being an emotional wreck.

We are humans! We are supposed to feel things. And that too, deeply. Nothing makes me angrier than people who are too closed when it comes to their heart. Like why the hell would you guard your heart, instead of taking a chance? If we all lived our lives like that, there would have been no success stories at all! The more skeptical you are, the more you are blocking the good things coming to you.

So yeah, coming back to the phone call.

I’m obviously not gonna disclose the details, but what really hit me was how obsessively we stalk people on Instagram and Facebook and other non-popular social media platforms and in turn make our lives miserable. Like, have you ever posted about how miserable your life is on your Instagram story? Maybe once or twice. But that’s acceptable. But if we continue to do so, then my friend, first, you’ll lose your followers because no one got the time to listen to how shitty your life is and secondly, you will fall into this pit of negativity and struggle to come out of it if you don’t get your shit together.

So, why worry about who took a trip to Phuket or who just bought a new Chanel boy bag? Have you ever looked at your life with an Instagram filter? I’m telling you, it’s gorgeous! It’s so damn beautiful compared to what it was a year ago! You got a million blessings and a gazillion moments to cherish for lifetime. But because you’re blindsided with negativity and vying for MORE, you’re blocking the way for many more blessings to come your way!

And how do I end this post? By being thankful to the almighty for blessing me with this long lost friend of mine: gratitude.

Love,

H ❤️

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The ache is deeper than ever

In fact it inflicts more pain

Because every second

There is a new wound

By the same fucking person

How stupid can one be

To fall for the same lie

Over and over again

To hurt oneself

A little more

By the same fucking person

The doors are always closed

Yet they foolishly open

Even at the slightest arrival

Of the conniving soul

That is inconsiderate

And it hurts, hurts like a bitch

Because of the same fucking person

And yet in those moments

Or any other as a matter of fact

Heart longs

For the same fucking person

And this vicious cycle carries on

To the delight of the heartless silhouette

Who finds bliss in my pain

And lies to my fucking face

Because this heart is stupider than ever

To fall

For the same fucking person

Love

H ❤️

The Vicious Cycle

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Incomplete

And I vie to smile when there’s happiness all around. I look at the beauty that has shadowed upon all the souls. I see the love that is there in every heart. I feel the wind touching my half dead body. I know the truth that is severely damaging. But, still, I feel incomplete. I feel like a half. That is waiting to become whole but knows from the inside that it will die as a half.

The bruises. Oh! The bruises. With every glance of yours. Every word you say. You cut me deep in the heart. It bleeds profusely. I can’t help but let it bleed. You have the power to make me bleed. And yes I’ve been waiting for the day, not when we are together, but when the bruises turn into fatality and I die with you in my heart, knowing that these bruises were your gift to me.

I’ll die, complete with your love or your indifference or your strangeness. But I’ll die with you in my heart. I’ll be finally, complete.

Love,

H ❤️

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The Places I’ve Seen

And the mind wanders

To far off lands

Lands that should’ve been there

But lost in my ruthless plans

A perfect world

You’re by my side

Life is a cakewalk

Blessed with every desire

Our laughter so real

They make of it as a phase

But we go on together

Living a life so good; unfazed

rainy mornings

Or the bright sunny days

We move through it all

Epitome of happy rays

Oh! The places I’ve seen

Through my wandering mind

Oh! The love I’ve developed

But alas! I’ve resigned…

Your scornful looks

Your heartbreaking words

My happy place is your heart

Should I fight for it, undeterred?

Love

H 💖

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Say No More

Not a poem. After ages.

What is the downside of being an introvert?

If you ask me, we, the introverts, the so called less happier ones. The so called arrogant ones. The so called crazy ones. And many more negative adjectives to describe our state of mind or rather our general psyche.

But these adjectives stop making sense after a certain period of time. We start accepting ourselves as we are after a certain period of time. What hurts the most?

Well.

It is when we are hurt by the behaviour of someone and choose to isolate ourselves and not to confront the person directly. It is when we are extremely hurt but choose to keep the feelings of the other person above ours and not make them feel guilty (if they have that kind of heart) of their behaviour by not disclosing the reason of our isolation to anybody. And then get JUDGED by all for being egoist, naive and arrogant for behaving in a socially unacceptable manner.

Yep..

It hurts the most.

Because we do not want to hurt anybody.

Even if it means to hurt ourselves more and more each day…

Love 💖

H ❤️

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You Were Perfect

The innocence of a child

Passion beyond wild

You were perfect

You were mine

A year passed

Then two

The fire within us fresh

You were perfect

You were mine

My belief in you

Was like a rock

As strong as our love

Then one day

You weren’t so perfect….

You weren’t mine anymore

You weren’t the truth I knew

You were someone beyond my dreams

You weren’t so perfect my dear

My heart shattered

Not because of your indifference

But because you were not the truth

Not the belief I had

You weren’t so perfect my dear

Oh! How I wish

I could open my heart to you

To show you how I look at you

As pure as a child

But, you weren’t so perfect my dear

Your lies hurt not because you lied

But because you need not to

Your every thought good or bad

I can take it as it is

You were so perfect my dear

You were my pride

My heartbeat that kept me going

I hope you to see you one day

As when I started to know you

You were so perfect my dear

So perfect.

Love,

H ❤️

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I Breathe Thy Name

And as I close my eyes

No, it’s not your face

But your feel that embraces me

I breathe thy name

I look around

And it’s not your thought

But your presence that is evident

I breathe thy name

Engulfed in work

I look at the door

And see you walking in

I breathe thy name

I drive,

lost in your thoughts completely

Aloof of the surroundings

I breathe thy name

I.. breathe.. thy.. name…

Love,

H ❤️

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What Could Have Been

And then the mind wandered

To what could have been

A world unseen

A life full of sheen

What could have been

Is a thought recurring

Your happiness was my triumph

Your wish my command

What could have been

Is just you and me

Living a luminescent life

Hearts beating continuously

What could have been

Is not this shallow breath

But fragrance of our lives

Our souls intertwined

What could have been

Us and our warm hands

Against the mighty mountains

Or the shrivelled desert sand

What could have been

Is you wanting me more

And I trusting you more

And a world unseen…

Love,

H ❤️

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From where I stand

From where I stand

I see a rose

Dazzling in the sunlight

Engraved in poise

From where I stand

I see a perished leaf

A little life left

Magnificent in its grief

From where I stand

I see an empty pot

The mud in it calling

Leaves that have been left to rot

From where I stand

I can feel the wind

And the sunlight in full bloom

Sweeping off my untamed hair

Abundant warmth to decimate my gloom

From where I stand

I see a world

Where beliefs are engraved in hearts

From where I stand

I see a world

That does not follow the herd

Love

H 💖

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The Dark Room

Humid corners

Eerie noise

Intrigued by it all

I forget my poise

I traverse

Traverse into the room

Nothing appealing

Oh! It resembles a sad tomb

Yet a connection

A familiarity touches my heart

In spite of its ugliness

I just couldn’t depart

Nothingness filled it

Void and vacuum alike

Just like this heart

Which I call ‘mine’

The silence or the noise

Whatever you may call

This queer room is a canvas

Of my equally dead soul

Run! You may run

But I call it my own

Possessed in it completely

I can happily drown

H ❤️